Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
