i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize