Jerry, you need to find god
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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