No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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