You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
