my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
