Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
