now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
dude i'm inner monologue high
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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