i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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