I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
