The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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