I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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