i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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