D3 body, D1 cock
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
