Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
