ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
