69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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