Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
