She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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