im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
