just come out here and I will go home with you...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
