dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
