As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
