i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
