Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
soo... how was my night?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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