So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize