Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
