my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
