Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
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