So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
