is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He kissed a someone with a penis
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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