I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
