Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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