He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
