I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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