If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
