i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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