Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
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