Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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