just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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