my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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