is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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