just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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