Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
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It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
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A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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