found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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