He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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