i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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