I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
