My pussy is not your playground.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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