I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I want to walk on stilts...naked
if only i could text you this smell
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Randomize
