he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Panties = found
Randomize
