I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
