Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
