Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
