we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
