thus making me awesome and them whores
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
