I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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