i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Randomize