Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
