the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
