Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
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