Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
