Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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