Got a toothbrush?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
