Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
